i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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