I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
that's an acceptable place to lick
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
