Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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