"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
