can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
