At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
