my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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