I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
it's great music for shaving your balls
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
