Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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