I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
