used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
