In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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