you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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