We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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