So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Damn victory sex feels great
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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