with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
