I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
