wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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