whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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