Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
