HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
