haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
