Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
