i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
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