Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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