An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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