You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
ttyl tear gas
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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