You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize