Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
