I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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