Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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