ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
