I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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