The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
