I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
