So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
