am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
