Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
