you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
