Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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