Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
