Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
