Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
