I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
