HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Everything about him screamed your future.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
