So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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