I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
