oh god the rape fog is back!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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