is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just had sex on a roof
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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