we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
