I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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