he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
