I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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