lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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